Hello there folks and thanks for stopping by! I know it’s been a while, I know most of you haven’t noticed, but perhaps some of you actually did? Ya, I’m going to tell myself you all missed me! Shucks!
Anyways, it but it’s has felt like an eternity for me since my last post and figured what better time to give you all an update but on June 1st.
So where was I? Let’s just say life got in the way. Like a big ass moose in the middle of the mental highway. My life is a rollercoaster, much like your own, so I know you can relate. The thing is, I can’t grasp why it feels like everyone is on a nice smooth ride, while mine feels like has tremendous highs and lows, half killing me in the process.
Note: I had to come back and write a disclaimer.
Disclaimer #1 – I am sorry if this sounds more like a rant than an update. I needed to get my energy out!
Last month was one of those months. A typical shit storm. At the start, I was doing ok. At the time, I only had one thing going on. Skin Cancer. I know, I know, beautiful right? As the month went on, a few more annoying things happened to me.
First, the shit in the shit storm I call my May Life.
- Head was healing from Skin Cancer (good thing, but stressful)
- I got a nasty throat infection and had to take time off of work
- Two weeks later, I got sick again with the flu and puked my face off for a day. Result: Missing out on a long weekend getaway.
- Been worried ill at work because I am always feeling that I’m not doing a good job. A mental trick, or do I really suck at my job?
- Read a book that dragged my passion for reading down.
May not sound big for some, but sent me into a world of hurt, and all those things basically all adding up together, brought this clown down. Don’t worry, if you are, I’m finally waking up and pulling myself out of my hole. It’s one thing that I’m good at, and I’ve had a lot of practice.
Now, with that out of the way, sorry about killing you happy thoughts! Let me share with you a few good things.
- My wife decided that she finally wanted a site for the crafts she makes. So I made her one.
- I overcame a challenge where I had to take my dogs to the vet, and I crushed a colossal anxiety issue by doing it instead of doing it
- It’s coming into summer, and I got some seeds and plants into the ground. I just need to get a hat so that I can keep the sun away from my stupid head.
So there! That is where I have been. Mostly with my head hiding under the covers of my bed, speckled with a few good things. Not enough good things, but at least there was a few right?
Unfortunately, that has taken a toll on my House of 1000 Books. With the lack of motivation and all that has been going on, my numbers have suffered a shit-load. I only did five posts, and the views were lower than in my first month. I know I shouldn’t be looking at the stats, but it’s the only baseline that I have on how well I did on the site last month.
So yea, I did 5 whopping posts.
- Is there life after death? (Short Story Review)
- Gloria L Geiger Interview (Author Interview)
- Trick or Treat short (Short Story Review)
- Atina Atwood review (Author Interview)
- Keith D. Graham (Author Interview)
Disclaimer #2 – I loved writing each and every one of these posts!
With that, what way do I go, up or down, left or right? Do I throw in the towel or get back into the ring? When I started this site, I did warn the readers that I go into something with my hyperfocus glasses on, stick with it for a bit, and then bail when I get bored.
In this case, I don’t think it’s boredom that has me by the balls. But, I do feel that I have figured it out though. Interested? What my bottom line issue with my site is, and why I did so crappy the last month, I have no motivation and basically, don’t have any drive with the lack of fun I’m having.
It’s not because I didn’t like writing about what I wrote about, but with everything piling up, I couldn’t get myself to produce much content.
So with that, here’s my June super duper list, that made me realize where I am, and what I need to do to get back into the game.
- I needed to take a break. Life was catching up. The site was dragging me down, as I was not using it as my gateway drug anymore, but trying just to please others. So I faded. Now I’m back, so things are going to change around here kids.
- I didn’t keep things to myself and roared and let the world know what I planned. Mostly in life and not so much here on the site.
- I lost sight of the big picture. That being, a place for me to share my views on books, and give my other thoughts about life. I mean, I am/was having fun, but for some reason, it was stressing me out, and I just gave up.
- I didn’t do it. Simple. No drive, no result.
- I made too many commitments. I hate deadlines, and I have given up on them. Why possessed me to set deadlines for myself? Goals sure, but dates…bah…I out of everyone should know that won’t’ work for me.
- I’m going to do what I want to do.
- I am going to try the balancing trick of keeping the fun in things and bring something that could possibly bring value to you.
- Have fun. I said I had fun, didn’t’ I? Not enough. Killed my mojo.
- Visualize. I know what I wanted this site to be from the start. A gateway for me to share.
- Stop comparing. It’s all I do. I distinguish what others have and what I don’t. That blog is doing better than me. That person has a better car. That house is big, how did that dirtbag buy it?
So with all that, let me see if I can blow some air into this place and bring some life back into it. I do have plans up my sleeve. I’m not going to tell you what, but it’s coming, and it’s exciting!
Stay tuned and June might just turn into a different type of month!